My Struggle

Letter From Rev. James Harrison Nixon

So I have not been posting as much as I should. The reason for this is I have been going through some health problems. I have been having a rough couple of days dealing with seizures. I have had six in the last three days and three of them was pretty bad. I usually stay pretty silent about my health issues and do not speak about them. I ask people not to pray for me but for those that are suffering in the Middle East and in China. I still ask that, as their problems far out weight mine. I am having nerve issues from my illness and now it is starting to effect my hands more. I am hoping that it does not take my ability to hold my children and my wife. I hope it does not take my ability to write more books and to type away so I can continue to share the work of Christ Jesus. The truth is I am not scared, I know God has a will for me. I would rather suffer for Christ than healthy and die for nothing. I would rather know that Jesus has worked through me to help someone. If it is just one person that is enough, because that one person could be the next earth shaker.

Knowing that I am getting worse though has become a depressing aspect. I can’t believe that the pain will not subside a little with the pain medication I am on and the other seven medications. I am starting to come to the understanding that suffering must be my will. I can live with that. I can turn this pain. this hurt into a message of hope. I understand that my struggle my suffering can be a place of joy. As Paul wrote in  2 Corinthians 12:9:

And he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, because the power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore rather I will boast most gladly in my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may reside in me.

(2 Corinthians 12:9, LEB)

In me, the Holy Spirit can reside through the pain and the suffering. I can be a vessel of hope a diplomat for Heaven. Life does not have to stop because of being sick or because you are struggling. I do not know when I wake up in the morning if I will be able to walk. I have to use a cane and I keep crutches on standby, sometimes I cannot use them because of my hands are swollen. I am typing this right now dizzy and struggling with my hands because of my nerves wanting to shut off it seems. I am in horrible pain, my spine feels like it wants to rip out and my hips feel as they want to explode. I the computer is shaking side to side as my eyes see the effects of the seizure I had last night. Yet I push through because I felt the need from Yahweh to share this message. Someone needs to hear it and I hope it helps them. I hope it drives them to push through and understand prayer is a strength. Suffering is a part of being Christian and that was told even before Christianity was founded. Just remember the best words written, these words drive me also and keep me going:

For I consider that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us.

(Romans 8:18, LEB)

Lord, we pray those who are suffering can see that the path you have chosen is the will for them. Lord, show them either your healing touch or the path to teaching. in Christ Jesus name and the strength of the Holy Spirit Amen


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